Thursday 29 May 2014

6 hours lost of my life!

Tryfan cut his eye open today in one of the local play places. We were in a&e 6 hours, treatment took about 15 minutes ha ha! They glued it back together twice so hopefully it will heal quite neatly.


Feel so tired now, from doing nothing! Kids were very well behaved though which I was thankful for but it was another time when I really felt how hard it is on my own.

We go on holiday to Malta soon, I can't wait! Hoping it will be an opportunity to recharge my batteries. My mum, sisters, dad & step mum will all be there & have offered babysitting. I'm also getting a guest visit from someone very special for a long weekend while we are there, it will be lovely to get some quality time together. Quite a big thing for them to do so I'm very happy that they want to. It's nice planning things & things in the future, lots is still uncertain but I guess we will cross any difficulties when or if we come to them. 
We had our first major argument last week, I think they are struggling with the whole single/relationship thing a bit. I was really gutted by something they said to one of their friends, felt like they were trying to prove something by talking about me like shit. Apparently it wasn't how I read it but black & white is hard to deny & I know I would never have said what they did. I just hope they realise their mistake & haven't just said they do to keep me happy. I think I felt worse as I was allowing someone to hurt me & that made me feel worthless. I think I need to be stronger!!! 

I am happy though, just hard to shake the insecurities my life has given me. I hope that they understand that I am trying. I just don't want to feel second best or that I'm someone that is convenient. I want to be a part of their life & everything in that. I've let them in just hope im not let down now, I want to be loved again 💗💗

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