One step at a time

Yesterday was a good day, I'm hoping today will be just as good! 

I think I've got to stop dwelling on things & over analyising every little thing!!

I felt quite elated when I woke this morning as I weighed & I was down to the weight I want to be.........although maybe a couple more pounds might not hurt 😉

I know this is not particularly healthy though, I probably have an eating disorder. Writing this on her may not allow me to do it though so.........

I sometimes really restrict what I eat to the point in that I probably only eat a couple of hundred calories a day. I sometimes eat things and then make myself sick. Probably the hardest for me to admit I sometimes will chew food & spit it out before swallowing. I actually do this a lot & it's pretty discusting. 

There I've said it, it's more to do with controlling things when everything else is out of my control than changing how I look. My weight doesn't seem to change now anyway, I've really mucked up my metabolism 😞

I'm trying to be healthy by running but this may be another way to control 😞

Don't judge me, I am trying & I know it's not good but I don't know how to get out of these habits 😞