Paranoid??? Arghhhh

What the hell is happening to me, feel like I'm going slightly crazy. It's like I'm determined to self destruct everything by picking at every tiny detail. Maybe I'm trying to force it to finish just so I can say to myself 'see I knew that would happen, I knew they wouldn't be able to handle it'. I can then prove my worthlessness! It's pretty mucked up 😞 & definitely not healthy. Maybe I need to admit that I'm not coping before I destroy everything.............

Today is a new day though & I need to be happy for what I have, stop over analysing every little thing & try & take it for what it is. I want to be in a relationship & if I'm honest I'm not ready to be too serious, I want to enjoy spending time with someone & have some laughs. Maybe it's because I did serious where someone would constantly check up on me for so long I'm not used to that not happening. I've got to get that others do things differently though & that's not them. I don't want to change anyone, I loved the fact they were laid back & didn't stress it was refreshing! Think I just need to chill the hell out 😉 xx