Tattoo!

Yesterday I went to have a new tattoo, 4 hours of pain eeeek! I would like to say it didn't hurt but I would be lieing.

I was having this 17yr old tattoo covered

The end result was well worth the pain, although it is still very swollen in this picture:

It is in memory of my husband , the 2 roses are to symbolise us & the heartstrings is to remember the wonderful 10yrs of happy marriage we had together. He bought me a necklace with this on for our 10th anniversary in August. I wear it along with his wedding ring, close to my heart where he will always remain.

My heart feels literally broken in two right now, when will this get easier?

The oldest 2 are starting their counselling next week, it's going to be tough going on us all. I will be going with them for the first session & then they will be given the choice of talking with or without me there. It's so very needed. I can't process exactly what has happened so I can't begin to think how they are.  How do you ensure they know how much he loved them when ultimately he left them? That we weren't enough! I am so angry that I'm having to do this alone :'(